I'm here

I've been here 5 days. Things that freak me out about Europe/Germany already

-The water in the toilets are really low. Like really low. In the US if the water is that low it means your toilet is fucked up and clogged
-There are fucking one liters of pop/water/soda/juice whatever you want to call it. It's crazy! I haven't seen any 2 liters, just 1 liters!
-It is surprisingly hard to find American style cheese. Like Kraft? Yeah
-Brie cheese is abundant, and I am a fan
-I am VERY glad I like sausage
-I wasn't a fan of beer in the US, but the beer here taste different so I'm warming up to it
-The windows open SO WEIRDLY. It's hard to explain. Just the way that windows open here are not the way they open in the US
-I wish I knew German
-They do NOT drive on the left side of the road here!! Only in the UK they do that apparently!
-The 2 cent and 50 cent coins keep fucking me up because they are the same color and roughly the same size

Things I don't miss about the US

-It's pretty awesome here. I am a fan

Countdown: 5 months and one mild panic attack

I have absolutely no idea what to expect. Like no fucking clue.
Oh, you can say "No one knows what to expect!  Don't worry! Everyone's just as nervous as you!"

Really? They all sure fucking hide it well, don't they?

What do they eat in Europe? What do they have there that isn't in the US, and vice versa?  I barely survived my internship in Disney because I had to cook for myself, and that was in America! I shopped at Walmart! Do they have Walmart in Germany? If I had to guess I would say no, or at least not in Bonn, where I'll be living. People like to laugh at me, but starving to death is a legit concern of mine. No one else is concerned about this? I'm not kidding around! I guess I'll eat a lot of fruit and vegetable. That's the only thing I'm sure of that exists everywhere in the world. This isn't just a study abroad program, it's a weight loss program. Not to mention, "kitchen" I have in my apartment in Germany is so small it's a huge joke. It's literally in a closet. How the hell am I supposed to cook anything there? There's two burners. No microwave. I've never lived without a microwave. I might as well go outside and eat the grass like a fucking cow. I'll post pictures once I actually get there, I just know what it looks like from some other pictures I've seen.

Where do I shop for like home furnishings? Ikea? I it's is awesome but I don't think I've ever even seen an Ikea around here. I've heard conflicting stories, one person says it's super cheap and another person says it's really expensive.  That's comforting.

 It's going to be up to me to make friends,(according to my Dean who is overseeing this program) So that's fucking fantastic considering I hate people, and I like to be left alone under most circumstances.  (See my other blog "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Bitch  http://jenniallegedly.blogspot.com/ to know my everyday life and my hatred of people) I have a solid small group of friends, (which is exactly the way I like it) all of whom who think in similar ways as me, and "get" my humor after having to deal with me for so long, but it takes a while for a new person to get used to me, as I've heard before.

Okay so I don't actually hate people. But I really dislike having to do group projects and working in pairs. And just walking my happy ass up to people to introduce myself sounds like some sort of nightmare. I know that's what I'll have to do, so that should be a good old time. I like to hide my insecurities behind my odd sense of humor, and dramatic attitude and such/ I can't do that in Germany! They know English there, especially at IUBH the University I'll be attending (it's English speaking) but I'm thinking that my sarcasm and whatnot may have difficulty translating different cultures. What I need is a really sarcastic, funny, dramatic German girl to be my friend. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to find one?

STUDYing Abroad

 I can't speak for all of the girls, but my knowledge of Europe and world travel starts and ends with the Lizzie Maguire movie, The Amazing Race (my favorite show btw) whichever city the Jersey Shore went to (Florence?) and Hostel Part 1 and Part 2 (two of my favorite movies of course) So my view is pretty narrow. With the exception of The Amazing Race, all those other movies and shows might have shown a fictionalized version of Europe and the surrounding world.  No way to know of course, until I get there. Although I find myself hoping that Hostel has exaggerated a little. I love those movies but I wouldn't want to be in them, if you catch my drift. If you've seen the movies you'd understand

Anyway I've gotten off point.

But the thing is is that I don't like asking for help because I do not like admitting that I have no idea what is going on. It's a pride thing, I think. It's one thing if the person I ask is my good friend (for example a close friend of mine is an accounting major and helps me with my accounting homework when I need it) And someone told me that Germans aren't very helpful.

Maybe I'll be proven wrong?

I feel out of my element a little

Things like this don't happen to me.

I am not lucky, I don't enter contests and win cars, or trips or money. I play the lottery but I never win. I had a car once but it died a terrible death. I didn't even crash it, it literally just stopped running on me. If I don't study I'm not the type of person who gets an A on the test anyway, no I'm the person that fails miserably. Probably one of the luckiest things that actually happened to me is that I passed my diving test on the very first try. I was pretty surprised. Not that I'm a bad driver, I'm a good driver. But things like driving tests require little bit of luck as well as skill, and those are the things I can usually count on ending disastrously.

I feel like I've never been anywhere. I'm a Tourism Major, and I've never been anywhere. That's not really true, of course. I've been to Disney World (I actually used to work in Disney World but that's a story for a different time), NYC, I went on a cruise to the Bahamas, and last summer I went to Mexico. I know that there are endless amounts of people who have REALLY never been anywhere, and of course I'm very grateful that I've gotten the chance to go the few places I have.  But compared to a lot of people in my major, I haven't done or gone anywhere.
There are people that have gone to France and the UK. To Spain and Japan, to Greece, Australia. There are people in my major who have worked at endless resorts in many different states and even different countries. There's a group of people who took advantage of work program we offer and spent their summer working at Bellagio Hotel in Italy for the summer.

Last summer I slept a shit-ton, shopped, and I helped run an arts and crafts program at my local park for July and August. Not exactly preparing me for my future career as a  hard-headed shrewd business woman.

Then I heard about this program my college has. It's brand new. Spend my senior year studying abroad at our sister school in Bad Honnef, Germany.  Then when I graduate I get two degrees, one from my college in the states, and another from Bad Honnef.  I love different cultures. My greatest wish is that I could speak other languages fluently, it really is. I tell people that all the time. I decided to try and go for it.

I've never gotten stellar grades, and my family doesn't have a lot of money. Grades were important for this particular program, for the obvious fact that it would be difficult and stressful having to live in a different country.  It would also cost money, though luckily not as much as I initially thought.

I applied, I got in.

Now, I don't want to make this whole thing more impressive sounding then it actually is. If I'm anything, I'm honest, to the point of being incredibly blunt. There was not really competition.  I do not think I was chosen over anyone else, though to be honest AGAIN, there's a small chance maybe I was. But I have no knowledge.  There were only maximum 6 spots open, and there are 5 of us going. It's a hard program, it takes a whole year, our senior year of college. You need to commit to the program 100%. I can't leave, or fail classes. I can't get homesick so bad that it distracts me. I need to be more academic then I've ever been in my entire life.

I get to go to Europe. I get to live in EUROPE. I get to experience things that many people will never experience in their whole lives. I'll go to Paris and Rome. London, Dublin, Amsterdam. Maybe go to Spain? Why not?

Things like this don't happen to me. I feel out of place, somehow..